This morning I woke to a post that my big brother from another mother put on Facebook that intrigued me. My reaction to the picture below was immediate, but to also see the reaction of others even more perplexed me.

Now maybe I’m naive seeing as I’ve never been married, but the idea of 1) my life’s partner having less than me and 2) having boundaries on our bed space seems ludicrous! I imagine seasoned couples that have been together 10, 20 or 40+ years are thinking, ‘oh, she just doesn’t know’.  I have been in a 4 & a half year relationship where we talked seriously about marriage, and I would say that I was just as adoring of him in year 4 as I was in the year 1.  So, the idea of the passion and intimacy of a marriage being drained or no longer sounds horrible to me.

Now the flip side of this is that I definitely agree we as individuals still should have our “me” time & space. Time to reflect, time to chill with the ‘boys’ or have ‘girls’ nights are still key. And even in a bed, I’m not here to say every night a couple has to snuggle (and um, partake in more intimate There are times when a man or woman may get hot (in temperature) or just want some space to sleep and have their own space. And to just communicate “babe, tonight I just want to sleep or have some air”, that’s important and not get all bent out of shape about it.

Now if EVERY night is a night of distance and overall a relationship/marriage has evolved into a lack of intimacy, union, communication, respect, compromise, love and two people have become in a sense roommates, housemates, or simply are co-existing, that is no way to live.

The subsequent comments on the post brought to question the concept of a guy/husband being a “yes, dear” man. It has been argued that to do so minimizes conflict. I have found that often some men opt for the road of least resistance. I understand and can agree that choosing your battles and compromising is key for both men AND women to do. However, the idea of simply bending to someone’s will, leads to complacency & lack of passion.

These are just a few of my thoughts. What do you think?

  1. Khalid says:

    Excellent write up sis! Any relationship should be a partnership 100/100 but like you said and even what I meant by the post us you do need to understand what battles to beat and what wars to win and especially as the head of a household it’s for me to always see the bigger picture and act according. Happy Wife makes a Happy Life especially is she’s a wonderful woman who richly deserves to be bowed too!

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