So, lately I’ve been in, heard and observed a few discussions and comments with women and men on their perceptions of the opposite sex, relationships, statuses and the like, which prompted me to write this post. I’m well aware of how others’ attitudes, opinions, and/or actions, in many cases can be belittling, offensive, or make one feel small.
This post is mainly to provide an inspirational look at your life, in the realms of relationships, particularly for those that struggle at times with where you are. Many of us have felt at some time in our life unfulfilled or have dealt with unmet desires and longings, be it as a unmarried person, single parent, married and childless, or divorced.
Despite all the stigmas that society will try to pin on you, no matter if you are an unmarried 24 year old mother of 3, a 29 year old brother with 3 different baby mamas, a 44 year old married woman desperately trying to have a child, a 57 year old divorcee wondering what’s next in your life, or a 38 year old never married without children desiring the love of your life. Your life’s path is perfect.
I know that may sound a little unusual, but I’m here to let you know that the path you have and are living, including your decisions, mistakes, shortcomings, successes, pains, doubts, accomplishments, relationships, and revelations, have all been part of a unique plan specifically for you. All of it is like a beautiful canvas in which you are the masterpiece. Everything has been shaping, growing and molding you to who you are at this moment.
I feel the need to share this because despite where you are in life, some will judge you for your past (which they shouldn’t). Some have attitudes and will label you as if there is something wrong with you, like you are not supposed to be where you are in life, based on their expectations and perceptions. I mean, how many of you have heard or even said these kinds of things:
“You should be married by now”
“You and your husband should be trying to crank out some babies”
“I had a few bad relationships in my past”
“Women don’t like good guys”
“All men are dogs”
“White women aren’t as difficult as black women to date”
“You’re still single, what’s wrong with you…something has to be wrong”
“Y’all should divorce, it just ain’t working out”
“She’s got too many kids”
“He’s selfish and afraid to commit”
First, I’m here to challenge you to really get that everything that is, has or has not happened in your life so far is exactly how it was meant. Otherwise, those things would not or would have happened. Even your “so-called” mistakes, hard times, and difficulties in some way grew you, taught you lessons, showed you things you otherwise would not have.
We can often let other people’s labels, judgements, and perceptions, as well as our own make us feel like something is wrong with us, like something is wrong with our life. This is not to necessarily advocate certain behavior that may hinder us or keep you from where we seek to go, grow or be. Yet, arguably even those continued behaviors, mistakes, decisions are opportunities for us to learn. Everyone’s path is different. Our experiences, challenges and victories are unique for each of us.
**********A Moment for Single People ************
For example, as a not “yet” married person, I often see people trying to rush or feel unhappy with the beauty and gift of singleness. I’ll even admit there have been times that I’ve felt the unfulfilled desire of wanting to share my life with a husband and children. I had to grow to a point where I embrace my season of singleness and see it as a time to flourish in my gifts, in love, and devotion to honoring the woman God created me to be.
Read 1 Cor 7, particularly verse 1-2, 8-9, and 32-35. (below)
Despite what this world may tell us, God actually prefers us to be single, where we can focus our time, energy, gifts, and life on Him. However, recognizing that He made man & woman as companions, he also gave us the gift of marriage, where (if I may share one of my favorite quotes in the photo below) even the sanctity of matrimony and family is meant to honor Him.
I say this because I feel a lot of people are judged from a worldly standpoint for being single for longer periods of time as if there is something wrong with that or them.
Nothing is wrong with you. You..your path…is perfect.
Truth be told, every season in our life is for a reason. Some of us may have not yet reached a place in our lives for things we desire and what we are experiencing now is simply to get us ready. Some may not have been fully honest with themselves as to what they want, but are letting others or the world dictate what and where we should be.
There are many different reasons for the experiences and seasons of our life. Now is a time for us to soul search, meditate, pray, seek, and evolve as well as use this opportunity to embrace our journey and be ready for the next season. And trust me, at the perfect time, you’ll be blessed with even more and better than you can even imagine.
Have a great day!
1 Cor 7:1-2, 8-9, 32-35
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.