This week I couldn’t help but reflect on the fact that it’s been 7 years since I’ve seen my brother’s face. Yes, I still get teary-eyed at times when I think about how I miss him. I started to think about what it really means to be a ‘sister’ or a ‘brother’, what is unique to that sibling relationship.
As a result of being 10 years apart we weren’t extremely close, but there were those special connections & moments that only a brother and sister could share that still touch me: as a child, I always wanted to follow him & go where he was; times when we’d clash over the remote (him wanting to watch Kung Fu theater & me wanting to watch cartoons), him trying to get alone time in the basement with his high school honey as I constantly interrupted curiously trying to see what they were up to…lol, to even as adults realizing we had common feelings about family, wanting to protect each other, and being able to empathize with each other’s thoughts, struggles, growth and experiences.
Even in death, I still sense his presence at times, when: something goofy happens to me it’s like he laughs with me; situations that we both have dealt with there’s this comforting and understanding presence that feels a lot like an unspoken conversation where he can relate; and still other circumstances I experience there’s like this subtle brotherly spirit letting me know things will be alright.
This life has awaken me many things including acceptance, cherishing family always, seeing the lesson and meaning of things that are hard to let go of, being present to things of this life but more importantly beyond, and my brother’s life as well as his passing has played a large part in that. And for that and much more, I’m still very grateful for the blessing he has been & continues to be. Still missed and so loved, Happy Birthday Darrick.