It’s interesting how creating in one form of art can impact & inspire another. Having been in a creative & writing dry spell, late last night I was transposing a melody in my head to piano & to sheet music when all of a sudden these words came to my head…
Something happens when the melody in your head travels to your fingertips & strikes a key…
Bow down?? Noooo!!! Now before you even try to say I’m a Beyonce hater, let me first say that I love her. As a woman, a wife, a mother, a singer, an entertainer, I respect and celebrate her as a person, her successes and many of the things she has accomplished.
Here is a person that stands on top of the world in having beauty, family, a successful music career, has been adored by Oprah, and sung for President Obama’s inauguration. So I scratched my head in trying to understand why she recently dropped a song entitled “Bow Down, B-tches“
Upon hearing the song, I couldn’t help but be completely bewildered. Yes, I get the edgy and sassy personality that emphatically states respect me, however, the need to refer to any other person or female as a b—- to get it, isn’t necessary.
I couldn’t help upon listening to the lyrics, but think of the number of girls and teens, as well as grown adults that will probably adopt this as a new mantra, as if demeaning another individual to “bow down” or call them a “female dog” is what will bring respect.
I pictured all the little girls in my life and thought of how they play a part in why I personally feel it’s shameful to refer to any other person as a b—-. Call me an optimist, call me a idealist, whatever, but I will continually stand for uplifting myself and others and not at the cost of putting anyone else down. Which is why I won’t even put Beyonce down, however, I do feel it’s important to critically look at the impact of a song like this and the messages it sends.
As a woman who just had a child, in fact a baby girl, it’s interesting Beyonce spits lyrics like this:
“I know when you were little girls, you dreamed of being in my world…Don’t forget it, don’t forget it, respect that.”
“I took some time to live my life, but don’t think I’m just his little wife…Don’t get it twisted, get it twisted, this my sh-t, bow down b-tches.”
I can see that Beyonce is often attacked in media and by the public, which as with any celebrity comes with the territory. I’m not saying this song is in response to this or any of her haters, however, if so, her success, life’s accomplishments, and who she is as a person is more than enough to speak for her.
Beyonce is an artist that has a broad voice, mass appeal, and a huge platform for which people can listen. I appreciate that she exudes confidence, self-love, empowerment and self-respect. With that said, for her to challenge any of her haters, attackers, or those that may have things “twisted”, as well as all women, men, people in general to stand up on their own accord, with an emphasis on their own lives and being the best person they can rather than focus on hers & her world, would go a long way, minus the undignified name-calling.
There is no need to demand respect, when your actions, your life, command it. Rather than calling for others to lower themselves in recognition of what anyone has going all, a truer role is in challenging them to act as nobly.
So to Beyonce and anyone else, I say stand up Queen…for in standing up and acting like the Queen you are, you give others permission to do the same.
A lot has been happening around me personally around the youth of this city. These last two weeks alone have been trying, from incidents of parental abuse (physical & sexual) of a grade school student I work with, a teen hurting himself because of feelings of being unloved & talking about depression and suicide, a non African-American teacher allowing grade school boys to gyrate while video tapping them doing the Harlem Shake with one in a monkey suit, to the shooting death of 6-month old Jonylah Watkins.
I’ve cried, I’ve vented in anger, I’ve felt overwhelmed as well as continued to seek and pray that there is something bigger that God is calling me to do that can change the state of our youth & our communities on a large scale.
What I do know is….we are hurting.
There is so much hurting that is broad-scaled, that the problems almost seem too big to bear, much less begin to address.
Everything from our education system, lack of educating particularly Black youth of our history that could empower them to think more positively of themselves, the shuttling of our Black men, youth and increasingly women into the prison system, one-sided negative media images of Black men, women & urban communities, disregard of the lack of ‘parenting’ and the systems in place that continue to allow for this, an overall lack of a sense of community and solidarity in our communities, a reactive vs proactive approach to dealing with gangs and violence, and so much more that needs to be addressed and massively transformed.
Earlier this week I tweeted about having one of the teens I work with that’s been getting pulled into street life to come by to talk, worked w/ him to do online application for summer job, & then got in studio and he laid down vocals to finish recording this song. I stated “if the streets are gonna keep trying to claim our youth, I’ll be damned if they don’t have to fight and go through me first…even if it’s 1 child at a time”. I can’t allow for this hurt to continue. And at the same time, I feel like it’s not enough. What I’m doing is not enough to put a dent in so much pain and so many problems, however, this is not going to stop me.
I have ideas, as I’m sure many do. I don’t necessarily know how to bring all this, everyone together…at least not yet, but one thing that I must acknowledge and be thankful for are the signs of hope!
Two Chicagoans that have been a blessing this week are Derrick Rose and Lupe Fiasco.
Derrick Rose stepped up to offer to pay for the funeral expenses for baby Jonylah, a sign of how much he was touched by this tragedy and he cares. That’s something that our communities need more of…to simply care, and not just about your own children, family or friends, but about each other and the welfare of all youth & families.
And today, Lupe Fiasco released this song “Jonylah Forever”:
I greatly appreciate these two men. Their actions are a light on how we must treat and see one another. I’m even more grateful that at a time when we can be overcome with a sense of hopelessness that many in our communities feel every day, they continue to serve with their gifts, their talents, and even as an inspiration to not give in or give up.
It is a look at ourselves, each other, this city, and see a sea of possibilities. When we can see it, then we can act accordingly, and know that we have the ability to save ourselves.
Treasure those intimate moments…
Sharing something I wrote last year, my thoughts and feelings on the beauty & wonder of the gift of sex.
Sex is like prayer…
…a sacred sharing of your soul.
The Foreign Exchange does it again. The latest release, “The ReWorks” is a body of work I must say is remarkable. It’s always so refreshing to hear instrumentation, production..simply music that speaks to your soul. Read entire review
So, lately I’ve been in, heard and observed a few discussions and comments with women and men on their perceptions of the opposite sex, relationships, statuses and the like, which prompted me to write this post. I’m well aware of how others’ attitudes, opinions, and/or actions, in many cases can be belittling, offensive, or make one feel small.
This post is mainly to provide an inspirational look at your life, in the realms of relationships, particularly for those that struggle at times with where you are. Many of us have felt at some time in our life unfulfilled or have dealt with unmet desires and longings, be it as a unmarried person, single parent, married and childless, or divorced.
Despite all the stigmas that society will try to pin on you, no matter if you are an unmarried 24 year old mother of 3, a 29 year old brother with 3 different baby mamas, a 44 year old married woman desperately trying to have a child, a 57 year old divorcee wondering what’s next in your life, or a 38 year old never married without children desiring the love of your life. Your life’s path is perfect.
I know that may sound a little unusual, but I’m here to let you know that the path you have and are living, including your decisions, mistakes, shortcomings, successes, pains, doubts, accomplishments, relationships, and revelations, have all been part of a unique plan specifically for you. All of it is like a beautiful canvas in which you are the masterpiece. Everything has been shaping, growing and molding you to who you are at this moment.
I feel the need to share this because despite where you are in life, some will judge you for your past (which they shouldn’t). Some have attitudes and will label you as if there is something wrong with you, like you are not supposed to be where you are in life, based on their expectations and perceptions. I mean, how many of you have heard or even said these kinds of things:
“You should be married by now”
“You and your husband should be trying to crank out some babies”
“I had a few bad relationships in my past”
“Women don’t like good guys”
“All men are dogs”
“White women aren’t as difficult as black women to date”
“You’re still single, what’s wrong with you…something has to be wrong”
“Y’all should divorce, it just ain’t working out”
“She’s got too many kids”
“He’s selfish and afraid to commit”
First, I’m here to challenge you to really get that everything that is, has or has not happened in your life so far is exactly how it was meant. Otherwise, those things would not or would have happened. Even your “so-called” mistakes, hard times, and difficulties in some way grew you, taught you lessons, showed you things you otherwise would not have.
We can often let other people’s labels, judgements, and perceptions, as well as our own make us feel like something is wrong with us, like something is wrong with our life. This is not to necessarily advocate certain behavior that may hinder us or keep you from where we seek to go, grow or be. Yet, arguably even those continued behaviors, mistakes, decisions are opportunities for us to learn. Everyone’s path is different. Our experiences, challenges and victories are unique for each of us.
**********A Moment for Single People ************
For example, as a not “yet” married person, I often see people trying to rush or feel unhappy with the beauty and gift of singleness. I’ll even admit there have been times that I’ve felt the unfulfilled desire of wanting to share my life with a husband and children. I had to grow to a point where I embrace my season of singleness and see it as a time to flourish in my gifts, in love, and devotion to honoring the woman God created me to be.
Read 1 Cor 7, particularly verse 1-2, 8-9, and 32-35. (below)
Despite what this world may tell us, God actually prefers us to be single, where we can focus our time, energy, gifts, and life on Him. However, recognizing that He made man & woman as companions, he also gave us the gift of marriage, where (if I may share one of my favorite quotes in the photo below) even the sanctity of matrimony and family is meant to honor Him.
I say this because I feel a lot of people are judged from a worldly standpoint for being single for longer periods of time as if there is something wrong with that or them.
**************************************************
Nothing is wrong with you. You..your path…is perfect.
Truth be told, every season in our life is for a reason. Some of us may have not yet reached a place in our lives for things we desire and what we are experiencing now is simply to get us ready. Some may not have been fully honest with themselves as to what they want, but are letting others or the world dictate what and where we should be.
There are many different reasons for the experiences and seasons of our life. Now is a time for us to soul search, meditate, pray, seek, and evolve as well as use this opportunity to embrace our journey and be ready for the next season. And trust me, at the perfect time, you’ll be blessed with even more and better than you can even imagine.
Have a great day!
1 Cor 7:1-2, 8-9, 32-35
1 Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
Nothing like an ignorant tweet to get me riled up. Most people that know me know I hardly ever get mad. However, my love & protection of family, loved ones and particularly children can put me on guard and in “mommy” mode leading me to get pretty pissed when those I care about are attacked.
Now I don’t personally know Quvenzhané Wallis, the lovely 9 year old that made history being the youngest person nominated for an Oscar for Best Actress in a Leading Role. I still have yet to actually see the film. But the end of an evening of watching the Oscars awards show, lead to an instant that got me quite livid.
Reference to a tweet by the publication, The Onion, made me check out their timeline where I saw this:
Needless to say, I was appalled that anyone could stoop so low as to calling a 9 year old Black child such a word. After capturing it, shooting a few emails, and requesting an apology, I saw that it was removed (though the damage has already been done as news circulates fast). However, I thought ‘how could I use this to spark something inspiring?’
I thought about the youth I work with and children in my family and that I care for deeply. I also thought about it being Black History Month and the hopes that just because February is coming to an end, we can still educate, nurture and uplift our children in the legacy of those that came before them, who they are, and the endless possibilities of their future.
Then I thought about the lyrics of a song I fell in love with almost a year ago, by Esperanza Spalding. I just want to take this opportunity to share this…to Ms. Wallis and so many other absolutely beautiful, bright, intelligent, talented young girls and boys, you are so loved and so powerful! ..I encourage you to read these words OUT LOUD!!
Hold your head as high as you can
High enough to see who you are, little (wo)man
Life sometimes is cold and cruel
Baby no one else will tell you so remember that
You are Black Gold, Black Gold
You are Black Gold
Now maybe no one else has ever told you so
But you’re golden, baby
Black Gold with a diamond soul
Think of all the strength you have in you
From the blood you carry within you
Ancient men, powerful men
Builders of civilization
They’ll be folks hell-bent on putting you down
Don’t get burned’
Cause not necessarily everyone will know your worth
Hold your head as high as you can
High enough to see who you are, little man
Life sometimes is cold and cruel
Baby no one else will tell you so remember that
You are Black Gold, Black Gold
YOU ARE BLACK GOLD….
Check out the video and song:
Ready to give it a go?!! One of the next upcoming Chicagoland-area indoor triathlons is the Oak Brook Park District Indoor Triathlon, set for March 3, 2013. First wave @ 7am. There’s still time to sign up!
Click and print image. Fax registration to 630-990-8379 OR register online
For more info, visit http://www.obparks.org/triathlon/
