A day is not nearly enough to honor and celebrate the woman who was a vessel through which life was passed and nurtured, however, on this day I want to wish a blessed and beautiful day to my mom. To all the mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, godmothers, mentors, and women who give life, speak life, uplift life…May God bless all of your days, fill your hearts, fulfill your hopes and dreams, and enlighten you life, as you have done for us..your daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, other children, family, community, and beyond. You have not only birth children, but civilizations, ideas, dreams, accomplishments, creativity, and love. You are cherished and loved…Happy Mother’s Day.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted a book or music review, so I wanted to share my thoughts on a book I just finished and thought was a remarkable read. Now don’t let the title prompt you to think that this book is only for those that either like music, particularly blues or soul, or even those that are preachers or in ministry. There is a broad-reaching audience that this book has the potential to impact.
In these ominous times of community and police shootings, the school to prison pipeline, the inequality and failing performance of our education system, the financial struggles of cities, communities and families, and much more, Blue Note Preaching In A Post-Soul World: Finding Hope In An Age Of Despair by Otis Moss, III, addresses not only what is needed in our communities and the current state of our world, but also in Moss’ own words “rescues us from acceptance and dares us to move from the couch of apathy to the position of work”.(1)
Whether or not you understand, like, or even really listen to it, many people have a sense of the soul-stirring sound of blues music, created out of the African-American tradition in the 19th century, which incorporates a call-and-response pattern, specific chord progression, notes typically flatter in pitch, as well as spirituals, shouts, and chants. Moss initially discusses the connection of other music forms like jazz, soul, and Hip-Hop, as well as, preaching, our history, and even our current state of the world, to the blues or blue note.
As we know, there are many who can and do speak to the problems and challenges of the world today. We can talk about it, complain about it, cry about it, shake our heads, and the like, however, what Moss does is dare us not to continue to hem and haw in a “blues moan”, but to envision and focus on the “gospel shout”.
For those that are pastors, ministers, people who seek to touch and inspire others in the world, Moss challenges us not to simply talk and preach. As he states, “We are called to place a word in people.”(2) And yet, this book challenges a variety of different people; from those who have been wearing pain and abuse while allowing that to define them; to being able to listen, discern and learn how others receive things and consider how to communicate, in order to relate to them and still be authentic; to those who have been given a gift and have yet to give it over to God and allow it to be used for greater things.
In Blue Note Preaching In A Post-Soul World, Moss beautifully connects styles, generations, messaging and mediums, allowing us to see how all can relate and come together in a profound way.
The inclusion of sermons depicts and give us a further understanding of “blue note preaching” while giving what I feel is desperately needed to uplift our communities and this world.
You might expect references to scandals in the Bible, however, references to Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal, as well as a breakdown of dating versus courting from the sermon entitled, “Loving You Is Killing Me” in the book, is exactly what’s needed to address the shift in our culture and its relation to relationships, our family unit, and our values that further diminish our communities and feed our current struggles. And yet in that same sermon, an epiphany that despite our mistakes, often God can do more with us and we can greatly impact the communities and world around us after those pitfalls. (A gospel shout for those of us: such as individuals who have been incarcerated, homeless, or otherwise failed in some way.)
Moss even speaks to those who feel that the church has not been there for our communities, particularly with recent events. To those who question and doubt that the church has not been fighting or leading the fight in the issues our communities have been dealing with, he eloquently explains 2 key points that really hit home. The first is that rather than waiting for anyone to lead, we all have in us the capacity to start, contribute, and lead in the work that we see needs to be done. And the other key point is that, it is not that the church has not been doing many things, but that their work is not often what you see in the paper, hear on the radio, see on the news. This is such a redeeming point for many that continue to criticize and attack the biggest and most enduring historically foundation the Black community has ever had. I hope that Moss’ clarification of this can serve to once and for all silence the attackers of the church and help them focus on working together.
You have to love how Moss connects and uses the depictions of current media and social references, especially in the book’s section and sermon entitled “How To Get Away With Murder”. The link between scripture and the story of Herod and Mary & Joseph to the slavery and peonage systems and our current justice system demonstrates the gift that Moss has not only connecting history, but our relationship to it. The details that he breaks down serve to depict various things we see in our communities, how people like Dr. King and W.E.B. Dubois served to liberate our communities, and how we can use those examples to charge ahead.
When he states, “there’s got to be some point in our moment and in our lives where some brothers stand up and adopt some children who are not your own, if we are to change this situation in our community”(3), Moss sets before us a challenge on things we must all start to do and things we have to look at differently if we want to see that beautiful world of which we dream.
As we are living in what can be considered desperate and disheartening times, Blue Note Preaching In A Post-Soul World: Finding Hope In An Age Of Despair serves to relate our history and spiritual roots, to our current state, while meeting us where we are in an effort to plant seeds of possibility, renew dreams and hope, and insight into what we can do individually and collectively to create and work towards that world we envision.
(1). Page 7. Blue Note Preaching In A Post-Soul World: Finding Hope In An Age Of Despair
(2). Page 25. Blue Note Preaching In A Post-Soul World: Finding Hope In An Age Of Despair
(3). Page 120. Blue Note Preaching In A Post-Soul World: Finding Hope In An Age Of Despair
This year, one of my goals has been to take my triathlons to another level competitively and do Olympic/International distance events. To be honest, I had been hesitating on committing to it because of intimidation and some level of fear.
Though this is my 10th year of doing triathlons, the swim has been my biggest nemesis. Last year I did a short race in which I’ve competed 3 times previously, but I got out in Lake Michigan, freaked out, held on to a lifeguard boat for about 10 minutes, then finally swam the distance on the opposite side of the buoys in shallow water to get through it. I was disappointed and it was a telling experience of how much lack of comfort in open water got the best of me.
In past years, I practiced and trained to get through shorter distance triathlons, but this year I really have to push and stretch myself, not just to make it through, but to excel to greater distances and more endurance. Though I’ve been consistently building and having a successful indoor tri season, awaiting warmer weather to transition to outdoor I know I’m not yet ready for a longer open swim. And this is why I have been hesitating on making the actual commitment.
Last week, I was at a point of getting my first Olympic triathlon on the books. As I got to the page to actually submit, I could sense an inner anxiety and really paid attention to what I was feeling. It was a moment of determining and deciding to step out of my comfort zone and go for it or not.
I often say it is in challenging yourself to step out of your box is where you have phenomenal growth. There are things we think to do, we dream of, we desire, and at times may be challenging, not seem feasible, maybe not even make sense, however, it is in stepping out of what holds us back where we experience incredible breakthroughs. Be it starting a business, changing a career, entering a new relationship, relocating to a new place, sharing something deeply personal with someone from which you’ve been holding back, or embarking on a personal goal; there are various things we tell ourselves or feel that will keep us from actually doing it. They all are usually wrapped up in some level of fear, insecurity, not knowing what will happen, doubt, allowing our past or present situation to outshine what could be our greatest possibilities.
I’m sharing this because we all experience this at various times in our lives and at those pinnacle moments can often be what determines the difference between living small, mediocre, and ordinary lives, or creating remarkable and extraordinary lives and experiences that you never thought possible.
Well, I went ahead and have my first Olympic triathlon scheduled for June 2016 (and I plan to have another in August). I hope that if in reading this you find that you have been leery or holding back from something, stop playing it safe and being comfortable. Challenge yourself to step out and take that leap, so that you may find yourself experiencing a journey and a life beyond anything you could have imagined.
A few weeks ago I was leading a ministry meeting of active adults, former and current athletes. I asked them to share a Olympic, sport or athletic moment that they felt inspired them the most. As I hope to touch and inspire others, I often reflect on past moments that I witnessed that truly touched and inspired me and thought to share them in this post.
I’d have to say that the first monumental moment I was able to observe as a child was Mary Lou Retton winning the Olympic Women’s Gymnastics All-Around gold in 1984. Around that time, I had been taking ballet, tap and tumbling classes, so to see a young girl achieve such a feat was remarkable. I didn’t go far into gymnastics, however, it taught me that no matter how young or small you are, you can accomplish big things.
Not that I recall a whole lot of details of the game, however, to see and experience the win and the reaction of the city of Chicago when the 1985 Chicago Bears won the Superbowl, was simply remarkable. There was a connection and something to love about so many players on that team. The toughness of Michael Singletary, the agility of Otis Wilson, speed of Willie Gault, the boldness of Jim McMahon, the teddy bear smile of William ‘The Fridge’ Perry, and of course the skill, talent and air of a gentleman in Walter Payton. I had a shirt or jersey of some sort of each of them and not to slight Leslie Frazier, Dave Duerson, Richard Dent, Kevin Butler,…and the list goes on. A team as tough and deep as them taught me that it doesn’t always look pretty. There are times when you have to be tenacious, gritty, get dirty and especially when it hurts or in pain and think you may have nothing left, you can dig down deep and be unstoppable.
Another moment I was blessed to see that moved me was watching Florence Griffith Joyner aka ‘Flo Jo’, Jackie Joyner Kersey, and Carl Lewis sprint into gold in the 1988 Olympics. It was amazing to see the beauty and splendor of Flo, the multiple skills and dynamic endurance to excel at so many events by Jackie, and the power and tenacity of Carl all at the same period of time. I’m sure seeing them planted seeds for me as I later ran, jumped, and hurdled for 4 years of track and field in high school and later becoming a triathlete.
June of 1991 was one of the most joyous months for me. After watching 2 years of the Chicago Bulls being defeated in the playoffs, I had such a belief that Michael Jordan would be the one to lead us to an NBA Championship. To say I was a Bulls fan was an understatement as I had rituals before & during each game that made family members laugh. (ie, playing cards, gear, mementos and thank you to my brother, Ken for my Bulls chair, which became my game watching throne..lol). Watching the Bulls finally defeat the Pistons was a relief and up’d the ante, however, the final moments of game 5 versus the L.A.Lakers, was nothing short of exhilarating. This was so much so, I recall darting outside and screaming to the whole neighborhood that the Chicago Bulls won their first NBA Championship. It still makes me smile to recall. I must say that for me, it was just as moving to recall the losses of previous years. To know that amidst failure and defeat, that in continuing to push, stay focused, and be determined, dreams and goals are still attainable.
There are times when I’ve honestly thought that gymnasts are the toughest athletes in the world. I found it remarkable that they often have morning and evening practices every day, their sport is based off them being as close to perfect as possible, and they come in the tiniest packages but have so much strength while often performing injured. Having the competition on VHS, I find myself often replaying it to watch a group of phenomenal young ladies called the Magnificent 7 of the 1996 Olympics who definitely wowed not just me but the nation that year. Shannon Miller and Dominique Dawes had been favorites of mine since before the 1992 Olympics (and even still), so to see them lead the team to Olympic gold allowed us to see a rarity in not just making it but also medaling in a second Olympics. Particularly, Dawes became the only gymnast to medal in 3 Olympics, at time when there haven’t been a lot of African American gymnast on top, but also it is typically thought that you’re too old for the sport. To see such persistence allows me even now to embrace that it’s never too late accomplish big things and shoot for what may seem like impossible.
As you can probably tell, I am a fan of gymnastics and in recent years to see Gabrielle Douglas win the 2012 Olympic All-Around Gymnastics gold brought a since of pride especially for young African American girls, who I feel don’t have enough role models in the media outside of arenas that focus on looks and body image. This moment is one that I shared at the group meeting I mentioned, mainly because of what Gabby said after she won. It’s a quote that speaks to how I long to live my life in all areas, but especially as an athlete to not lose focus on why I do what I do and a reminder of what/who it is for. She said “I give all the glory to God. It’s kind of a win-win situation. The glory goes up to Him and the blessings fall down on me.” No matter how many medals, events and accomplishments life brings, they are all fleeting. At the end of the day, it’s all about ensuring that what I do in life is in line with why I am on this earth and the fruits of my work, my life are for the one who created me.
Well, I actually don’t have a 7th inspirational sports moment. Yes, I have witnessed many other exceptional moments in various sports, however, none that have moved me greatly or that I feel have deeply impacted me in a profound way. However, there are many individuals whose careers I follow and I must say I’m fans of, including: Alyson Felix (whose image has graced my vision board for a few years), Serena Williams, Simone Biles, Stephen Curry, Misty Copeland (yes, I consider dancers athletes, as well), Matt Forte, and Gwen Jorgensen. I look forward to seeing more uplifting and truly extraordinary moments in sports in the future.
Which moments deeply impacted you and how did they inspire you?
I’m just so grateful to see another day when I wake up each morning so to be blessed with seeing 40 years, I can only thank God for all the lessons, experiences, accomplishments, and the beautiful souls and people embraced throughout my life.
Over 3 years ago I first heard “When It’s All Over” by Alicia Keys and to this day it still moves me to tears when I think of all the people who have touched my life in such profound ways. I often reflect on how I’ve had this gift of life to LOVE those with whom I’m blessed to share it with. Since then I wanted to capture and continue to cherishing those moments. In reflecting over the last 40 years, there’s no time like the present.
Tomorrow’s not promised and…
“When they lay me down, put my soul to rest
When they ask me how I spent my life
At least I got to love you, when it’s all over..”
This doesn’t capture nearly everyone so I seriously need to spend more time with some and take photos and videos with them. But to all my family, friends, all those who’ve touched my life know how much I love you and am truly blessed at how you’ve loved me through the years.
And as inspiration to anyone reading this, take time to just say “I love you” or call or send a text to express your love. Or be creative in whatever fashion you see fit to express your love to those that may not know how much they mean to you, especially those who you may not have reached out to in a while and may feel forgotten.
Grateful for having moments in time..in life to simply share, give, be LOVE.
As much as I love and treasure the simplest things in life, such as: reading, journaling, walks, reflection, or admiring the sunshine when I wake in the morning, I appreciate many of the advances of technology. Technology has allowed for ease, accessibility and convenience for us to do daily tasks, as well as to be a resource for business, creativity, and much more. With that said, something as simple as a phone has become one of my greatest tools for accomplishing goals, maintaining daily tasks and checklists, and pushing me to go to greater lengths.
I recognize that there are various friends, family, colleagues, followers of mine that are not entrepreneurs, athletes, artists, etc., however, many of you have goals, things you want to accomplish, and more. Some of you may not have figured out how you can achieve them, or need some ideas to get you started, or tools to help you to keep things moving. Many of us utilize Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and more, however, I wanted to share with you some of my favorite phone apps and the creative ways I utilize them which have allowed me to push myself while having fun and staying on track. I’ve applied them to my health and wellness goals, as well as my goals for taking my triathlons to a new level. This may spark some ideas for how you can use technology for the things you want to accomplish.
Below are a few of the apps that I use consistently, however, feel free to search and utilize those that are specific to you:
S Health: This app comes on most Samsung phones and is specific to Android phones. S Health allows for you to track various things from the foods you eat, stress levels, water intake, heart rate, exercises, exercise programs, and much more. One of the simplest things you can do, for those of you who may not be athletic but want to start at least moving more, is to track your steps and set daily goals. Though I spent most of these last few years working with youth and could be pretty active moving around with them and facilitating programs, many of my days began with hours in meetings or at a desk working on a computer. Good portions of my day(s) could be quite sedentary and often my days were so long that I didn’t get into a gym very often. One of the things that I started off doing was a 40-day goal of walking 10000 steps. However, after completing the 40 days, even since then I seek to walk or run 10000 steps daily. There may be some days that are rest (or weight training) days for me while training, however, starting this created a habit that I incorporate to keep me active on those days.
MyFitnessPal: This app and website is one that allows you to track your food, nutrition and exercises. I will say this…in the last 3 months I’ve lost 15 pounds by incorporating the use of this website. Over the last few years I’ve watched quite a few documentaries including Food, Inc, Food Matters, and a few others that promoted me to make more changes in my eating lifestyle. I began using MyFitnessPal to track exactly what I was eating and I was blown away by seeing some of the calorie, sugar, fat intake of certain foods. I saw how the typical American diet could easily add up to 3000-5000 calories per day based on what we eat, particularly the foods we eat out and processed foods. By entering these foods in the app, the knowledge alone made me want to make changes. At times, putting in a food item and seeing it’s nutritional values promoting me to make different decisions on whether I really wanted to eat that or not based on my goals. I highly recommend for those that are interested in shedding a few pounds. It allows you to create a profile based on your current weight, your lifestyle activity, and goals. Each day as you enter foods and exercises you get to see if you are going over the calories, sugar, carbs, fat, etc and start to make changes.
Nike+ Running: This is a cool app for anyone who likes to run or even wants to get started running. I like this app for keeping track of my runs, seeing how fast I run, being able to add friends and see their progress and share with them mine. One of the coolest features is also the challenges that you can create or that others create that you can join. Recently, I began using the Coach feature, which allows you to follow a 5K, 10K, or Half Marathon 8-week plan to get you ready for any races you have coming up. I do wish you could customize it to different number of week plans, however, you can also amend it to your timeline. The Nike+ website also has other varying training plans and workouts that you can utilize.
SwimPro: If you’re in need of some training plans for swimming, this app provides a variety of training workouts as well as allows you to create your own. This year I’m training with groups, clubs, and utilizing coaches, however, the expenses can add up. When you’re not able to have one-on-one coaching or training sessions, this app has been useful in giving me guidance on drills and things I can do to improve my swim technique. It even includes video to demonstrate the drills as well as a breakdown of basic terms and workout structure for even those that are just starting to swim.
DietBet: This is a fun app that allows you to earn money for losing weight. Now I’ve never believed in diets and will be the first to say that diets do not work because they are mainly temporary and once you stop them you typically will gain the weight back. I didn’t utilize this app for a temporary weight loss, but rather for motivation and the comradery and encouragement it provided in going for my goals. This app allows you to sign up for a challenge with whatever the initial dollar amount is and everyone who participates puts the same amount in the pot. Over the course of time of the bet, participants are posting their accomplishments, meals, workouts and more. At the end of the designated timeframe, all those who achieved the weight loss goals get to split the pot. There is no specific diet that you follow, however, it encourages you to focus on healthy eating, working out, and your overall nutrition to lose the desired weight. I did it twice by signing up for $30 for Laila Ali’s Fitness challenges and it was fun. We got and shared food recipes, posted workouts, and really encouraged each other along the way. The challenge was to lose 4% of our weight (not too extreme) and both time I won $45+. Money is a great incentive. 🙂
There are other apps that I’ve heard were good through friends or I’m interested in looking into including FitBit, Daily Yoga, or Couch To 5K. I even look forward to checking out some apps for online video and promotion as well as, stores for my creative side and newest craft designs that will be coming soon. So, I really encourage you all to be creative and resourceful as I know many of you have some awesome ideas and goals for the year. With technology at your fingertips, I want to see you achieve some amazing feats!
This past Sunday was an amazing and powerful day for me. Not to say every day isn’t already amazing, as I feel any day I wake up in the morning I’m just grateful to see another day, however, this Sunday had a silent powerful movement that I just wanted to share. Even though this day consisted of my 2nd race of my indoor season and I had a pretty good one, it was not exactly the event that moved me so much.
This past October, I left a position of importance in which I served for the last 2 years. Though it was not the first time I’ve done so (in 2003 I left a company to start my own businesses), this time I was somewhat hesitant. A few months prior I felt that it had been time for me to serve in a different capacity and that in my role I was not able to fully fulfill on my purpose. It had not been clear as to what was next (in many ways the full picture is still not quite clear) so I waited. To be honest, I was waiting in hopes that what was next would be revealed and I would know exactly what to do.
Well, it didn’t happen but various forces surrounding me kept revealing that it was time for me to stop. Perhaps with all the noise of my life going on I would not be able to receive what was next until I took that next step and would be able to be still and hear where God was going to lead me. So, I decided to be obedient, put my trust in Him and be ok with not knowing, and resigned.
Over the last few months since then I’ve actually been blessed to take time to really deal with my feelings about my dad’s passing, enjoy family, do the things I know are in line with my passion and purpose including my triathlons, ministry, this blog, creating, and beyond.
Of course the reality of challenging situations have come up, making for times of nervousness and just wondering how to handle it when as I’ve stated, things are still unclear. This past week was one of those times as different situations began coming up and I have had no idea how I was going to deal with certain things. For example, all of a sudden I needed some work done on my car which became an unexpected expense I didn’t anticipate.
I’m not a worrier, however, I am a doer, a mover and a shaker. Yet, I still haven’t had things lined up to be able to address these various situations. At times it makes me feel horrible, my pride as a grown woman is hurt and I’m not the best at asking for help though I’m learning. My favorite scripture over the years has been Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I’m God”. There are times like these when it doesn’t seem to make sense, but I’ve learned it’s not always about what I can or need or want to do. We have to know when to listen, be still, be obedient, and just trust God. No, I’m not saying to use this as a way to be lazy and we are to be fruitful and productive, however, there is a time to listen and a time to sow… In listening and growing close to God, He will reveal when it’s time for us to DO something, as well as what. And there are still times to know the difference between how he will use our hands to do something or He will simply provide allowing us to behold His greatness.
Well, in the midst of prayer & being still, last week and then early Sunday morning I received a blessing that moved me to tears. A way was provided to address the concerns I had about my car expenses and so many other things I didn’t know how I was going to handle. In my car right before going in for my race, emotions just flowed because it was just a reminder of how amazing God is. My devotion for Sunday was Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you”. Yes, I had a praise moment! I’ve long known that, but it’s nothing like continue to see God at work and it continually amazes and moves me deeply.
No, I still don’t have a complete picture of my path and all the next things for me as to where my life will lead, but I’m learning to be at ease with the not knowing and trusting that even in the unknown I will not only be ok, but be blessed and able to bless others, which is why I share this experience with you. For those that may be seeking direction, feeling uncertain, unclear or stressed about unknown circumstances, just know that in His timing, it will be revealed, and until then, be strong, God’s got us.
Have a blessed week!
This week kicked off the 1st of 3 races of the 2016 Midwest Indoor Tri Classic Series (MITCS). This race series is featured by and takes place in Illinois at the Wheaton Sports Center, HealthTrack Sports Wellness Center-Glen Ellyn and Edward Health Fitness Center–Woodridge. (Check the pics below.)
I enjoy participating in this series each year, which benefits the Greater Illinois Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. This series is staffed by some of the most awesome personnel, as well as volunteers, and sponsors.
This is the 5th year I’ve participated in MITCS. I really enjoy racing in an indoor season of triathlons because it allows me stay consistent with training throughout the year before I get to outdoor season. It allows me time to work on various elements of all three portions of the race while experiencing actually competing. The format of indoors is great practice while still providing a competitive edge to push myself.
It’s great to see familiar faces as well as see growth or differences in how I raced in previous years. I also like being able to establish a foundation of my times and focus on building on that to get faster.
Many of my fellow triathletes are doing longer distances in the half Ironman and Ironman events, which I greatly admire. I want to focus on speed and getting faster. I do plan on building up to competing in 1-2 Olympic distance triathlons this year, however, I also want to beat my past year’s times. This year I plan to incorporate more consistent and intense training plans, as well as coaching (past years have been completely on my own) and combining my nutrition, specific techniques I can apply to the swim and bike, as well as building on my runs.
Since the results from yesterday, I’m happy to have beaten my last year’s times on all three (swim, bike & run), while accomplishing 2nd place AG (age-group) and 19th overall female for race #1. I’m looking forward to building upon that, so let’s go 2016!!
Sooooo, I’ve made this statement before to family and friends that “I don’t really date”, which probably perplexes some people. Yes, I do want to get married, have children, share love with a special man that is meant for me. And yes, I do go out and enjoy lunches, dinners, dancing, fun things like bowling, movies, concerts, and more. So, let me go ahead and clarify a few things, as well as any thoughts on my belief in one day having the life of marriage and family without “dating”.
My take on dating is when people make a planned attempt to get together to see if they are compatible and should further develop a relationship. Often it is initially based on one or both individual’s physical attraction or it could also be based on some initial exchange that arouses curiosity to learn more about another person.
Honestly, I’ve never really felt comfortable with the initiation of “dating”. Everything from speed dating, online dating or matchmaking, meeting in a store and being asked for your number, exchanging ideas and contacts at a business or networking event and getting a follow-up text or phone call to ask you out to lunch or dinner (not based on business), or even enjoying a group outing with familiar people to later have someone poke you on Facebook, often have an uneasiness to me.
Now, to each his own and I’m not here to tell people what to do and I get that many have gotten married and been happy with these types of exchanges.
I’ve just always felt that in dating many initially put their best foot forward and show only the kind gestures and good things about them. Sometimes these invitations come way too soon. I mean why should someone give you their number after just encountering you one time. Often dating is motivated by a person’s desire to be taken out to eat, drinks, sex, a ring, money, not to be lonely, to have children, and not by an understanding that this is part of my life’s journey or purpose and whom is meant to be part of it.
Now you may be asking, well, how do I get to know a person better to even see if this could be more. My point is maybe you should or maybe you shouldn’t.
I’m just going to state that there is a different between dating and courting, and some of the examples I’ve just outlined, at times leave some people feeling uncomfortable and awkward…particularly if you don’t even know the person that well or just aren’t interested. I mean, based off a chance encounter or even a cool conversation does not necessarily give people enough to want to be further engaged or get to know one better. That expression that there are people in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime is very true and some are meant to be passing acquaintances, others close or distant friends, others you may experience in relationships to reveal lessons, prepare you for things to come, and even more.
I’m a big believer in what is meant to be will be. I also believe in discernment, patience and truly paying attention or being present. Often circumstances and opportunities will present themselves for you to engage with people who are meant to be in your life. Also, I think it’s important to take time to know yourself and listen to that voice that reveals to you “direction” so know where things are meant to go with someone else and if you should and how to act upon it. Being able to receive and understand the reaction from that other person is also key. If it feels forced, it probably is. And timing is also important too.
So, I’m not saying not to ask someone to lunch, dinner, coffee, a movie, or to kick it to a club or event. However, it is important to understand your own motives or intentions, be clear, discern the state of your relationship, if there is one or even if there should be, as well as being able to respect others and where they are in their life. What about the idea of being friends, co-workers, neighbors, colleagues where opportunities present themselves for people to enjoy themselves and yet still get to know one another and through those engagements you may both come to a point where you realize a foundation for something more has developed? Or NOT, and that’s ok too. At that point hopefully communication does not feel awkward, forced or one-sided. And hopefully, not only have you seen each other at some of his/her best, but also the flaws, weaknesses, and idiosyncrasies that may drive you crazy, but you’ve come to love him/her despite them.
There may be someone out there that is not a perfect person, but is perfect for you and will come into your life at the perfect time. Knowing who, when and where will be revealed to you and it’s not necessarily in you going out to look or hunt for them. Through you being who you are meant to be, doing what you are meant to do, and them doing the same will allow for your paths to cross, as well as your intrinsic gifts showing you if, when and where things should go and the ability to engage and act on them.
I’ve stated before that where you are in life is as it should be at this very moment and the journey of life will take you to various stages and down various paths at the appointed time. In the meantime, continue to take in the blessing of your life and all that it entails, as you have grown and been shaped into the person you are right now and will continue to grow and be shaped into the person who you are meant to be, as well as with the people who are meant to be a part of it.
Well, I’m happy to kick off the week with some great news! Yours truly has been chosen to be part of the Gildan Esprit de She Ambassador team. For those of you that are not as familiar with the racing world, the Esprit de She series is a set of races including running, duathlon and triathlon events in various cities throughout the U.S.
Being a part of the Esprit de She Ambassador team gives me the opportunity to share my journey and inspire other women. As part of my personal goals to encourage others in the realm of health, wellness, being fit and active, I love being able to drive others to push themselves and set goals to accomplish milestones that they may have never thought they could. Training and participating in races is one the most rewarding steps in reaching those milestones.
For those that are runners, cyclists, and/or swimmers (or a combination of any of these), I want to invite you to sign up for any of the 2016 Esprit De She races. If you use my ambassador code ‘GEDS16AMB022’, you will get a discount off your registration.
And, if you are game, go for #BeYourPotential Challenge – Week One!!